A Homeopathic Remedy for Rob Ford

Image source: michaelmurray.ca
Image source: michaelmurray.ca

As many of you know, Toronto’s mayor, Rob Ford, is in the spotlight again. It seems that the famous “Crack Video” that was reported on in May, 2013, does exist, as confirmed by Toronto Chief of Police Bill Blair, who confiscated it in the drug raid, Project Traveller, a few months ago. From his numerous instances of public intoxication to his controversial, fiery politics, Rob Ford has always been a controversial mayor. He is being asked by colleagues – opponents and supporters alike – and the people of Toronto to step down from his role while he gets his life in order. While the jig seems to be up, he maintains irritatingly steadfast, refusing to take a leave of absence and even refusing to admit that he has a problem at all. It’s clear he needs some nature cure, ASAP.

Turning to one of the modalities of naturopathic medicine, homeopathy, I wonder if there isn’t a remedy that could help Mr. Ford un-stick himself from this awkward predicament and give him the strength to move forward.

Homeopathy is a form of energetic medicine, based on the principle “Like Cures Like”. It involves performing a thorough patient intake and perusing an extensive list of remedies, natural and chemical substances that are highly diluted, to find a remedy that appropriately matches the information given. I can only speculate, based on Rob Ford’s public image, which remedies might be suited for him. For a remedy that fits his complete picture, I invite our Mayor to schedule an appointment at the Robert Schad Naturopathic Clinic so that he may receive a full homeopathic intake (shameless self-promo) and therefore be prescribed a remedy that more accurately matches his current state.

It is unclear exactly what miasm – a category that best describes the depth and pace of the case –  Mr. Ford fits into. However, I would be willing to bet my Synthesis on his remedy being part of the Sycotic miasm. Sycotic miasm is characterized by the need to cover up a flaw (such as his struggle with addiction and misbehaviour). Patients who require remedies belonging to Sycotic miasm feel that as long as they keep their weaknesses hidden, they will be ok. Rob Ford demonstrates sycosis by repeatedly denying his drug addiction and continuing on as usual, even going trick-or-treating with his children right after the Crack Video Scandal was confirmed, struggling to keep his secret hidden until the last veil is lifted and there is nothing more to hide behind. 

Although not a remedy in the sycotic miasm, Rob Ford may still benefit from 200 C of lycopodium, a remedy made from the plant wolfsbane. Lycopodium is characterized by intense insecurity and mistrust. A patient who requires lycopodium lacks confidence but covers it up with arrogance, rage and egotism, which seems to snugly fit the picture of our bumbling Mayor. Lycopodium suffers from power struggles; he feels superior, dictatorial, but often powerless, which may explain his aggressive lash-outs at the media. He can also be cowardly, not owning up to recent allegations against him, and even famously calling the cops on comedian Marge Dillahunty, when she showed up at his house in 2011. Poor lycopodium also suffers from gas and bloating and, while we don’t know for certain the digestive state of the mayor of Canada’s largest city, his daily Tim Hortons and McDonald’s habit can’t possibly be helping normalize his bowel movements. Lycopodium also craves sweets, avoids people and shuns responsibility.

Another remedy, that is also not of sycotic miasm but that may benefit Mr. Ford during this time of recent stress, is Nux vomica, which is characterized by the feelings of intensity, irritability, and jealousy we often get from Robbie. Nux is indicated for the person who faces constant stress and tension. Nux can also be highly critical, fault finding, impatient and picky as well as argumentative and violent. Most fittingly for our most colourful politician, is the tendency of Nux individuals to abuse alcohol, coffee and drugs (such as crack, perhaps?) as well as a tendency to overeat.

Capsicum is another remedy that is indicated for individuals with addictive behaviour. Capsicums are often awkward and clumsy – many Torontonians remember with fondness the time our stumbling politician toddled straight into a TV camera lens, cursing rudely, and the time he collapsed on his face while attempting to hurl a football for a photo-op. I’m sure 30 C of Caps could have helped him avoid the Youtube fame he endured. Caps can also be lazy; they are averse to exercise, to thinking and to hard work. Capsicum is also characterized by a round face and red cheeks, nose and eyes. He can be jovial and joking, yet easily angered and contradictory. He also eats greedily and, of course, is prone to alcoholism.

While the above remedies were part of the Plant Kingdom of remedies, it’s possible that Rob Ford fits into the Mineral kingdom, characterized by an obsession with performance, role, identity and the search for power. If Rob Ford is a mineral, I might bet that he falls into the Ferrum series, which consists of remedies whose main themes are control, criticism, success/failure, work and duty. Perhaps Rob Ford would benefit from Cuprum, a remedy indicated for those who feel that their position of power is being threatened. They defend themselves by keeping control and keeping up appearances, which is a clear characteristic of Mr. Ford and his refusal to step down.

Or perhaps Mr. Ford belongs to the animal kingdom, particularly the reptile family, which is indicated for individuals who hide, are manipulative, lack morals and believe there is a conspiracy against them, as Ford clearly believes of the mainstream media.

I believe that there are a number of homeopathic remedies that would benefit Toronto’s most colourful politician. We’ll know he has the right remedy when he begins to own up to his responsibilities and moves from his current stuck place, perhaps by admitting that he needs help. We 4th year naturopathic interns at the RSNC invite Mr. Ford to our clinic; he might also benefit from an elimination diet and yearly detox with infra-red saunas, maybe some constitutional hydrotherapy treatments or the NADA acupuncture protocol for addiction; but, until then, we will continue checking our newspapers to see what the poor man will get himself into next.

References:

Hershoff, Asa. 2000. Homeopathic Remedies. Penguin Putnam: New York.

Sankaran, Rajan. 2011. Sankaran’s Schema. Parkinsons Graphics Pvt Ltd.

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5 thoughts on “A Homeopathic Remedy for Rob Ford

    1. Why, thank you, Janine! It seems that after I wrote this, Mr. Ford came out and confessed (some wesen in the air, perhaps?). I’m not sure when he’ll decide to get help, but, when he does, we 4th year interns will be ready for him!

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